Weird

from myFDL on 8-10-2011 Fair warning, this post is probably going to put most people to sleep, but think I need to write it, if only for my own self-reflection. I’m a rambling man, so to speak. Yesterday, in a thread about calling the mormon religion “weird” as a political tactic, I had this personal, non-religious, semi-epiphany: language is flexible and so are the conditions we impose upon one another. I’ve been experiencing some odd coincidences lately, and it’s put me in a strange mood. The coincidence yesterday was Jane’s post about David Axelrod’s self-inflicted, foot-shooting strategy for re-electing the presididn’t. I couldn’t agree that being honest and forthcoming (I admit this isn’t exactly the message she was conveying) is poor political maneuvering. I think honesty is critical to any relationship, personal or societal, and I think the mormon religion is “weird.” Here’s my story/confession: Earlier in the day, I had lunch with a sales representative. It was a cordial affair, but for a reason I haven’t figured out yet, complete strangers will confide their most intimate life details to me within fifteen minutes of being alone with them. This guy was right there. He’s a minister. He believes we are living in the “End of Times.” Obama is the “Anti-Christ.” He has over 40 guns, some AK-47’s. He packs his own rounds. He’s considering selling all his stock and buying gold. By the time we’ve finished our lunch, I know about his daughter’s out-of-wedlock baby (who is so dear to him, his eyes well up at the sight of her on his cell phone camera), his loving mother who raised him as a single parent since his father left him at 11 years old, her slow agonizing demise from COPD and his care for her up until the end, a relative’s grab at her estate, and his lonely existence in a house all by himself with his cat. I can’t help from liking the guy. He invites me to come and shoot rifles with him. I hate shooting rifles. Pulling a trigger gives me the same feeling I have after I’ve lost my temper and shouted at someone: I’ve launched something lethal, in an instant. It’s too much, too fast, too dangerous and it can never be taken back. The tranquility of the woods is the closest thing to holy I know, and a rifle report is “sacrilegious,” an automatic weapon is absolutely outrageous. Watching a target go down doesn’t bring me any satisfaction; it only confirms the reality that someone can deal death from a half kilometer away. So what do I do with this man? He knows nothing of me. He assumes I hold similar views. I look ex-military. I grew up with two grandfather’s who served in WWII. I worked in the defense industry, I speak the jargon. I know WASP pretension/condescension. I’ve been around right-wing people my entire life. I didn’t tell him I’m an atheist. I didn’t say, dude, if you sell all your stocks (not a bad thing) for gold (it’s how much an ounce?), you’ll be playing right into the hands of the hucksters of the world. I didn’t say, yeah Obama is an instrument of evil, but only because he is facilitating a lot of the things you so ignorantly support. I can’t tell him I think his belief in a christian god makes him seem like a dupe. I don’t want to insult him. There’s not enough time to even hint at any of these tiny beginnings of irresolvable differences. I don’t want to be his enemy, but I know if I attend another anti-war rally, he could very easily be standing on the other side of a row of riot-gear outfitted police calling me a communist with flecks of spit flying out of his mouth. So I let him think I could go and shoot guns with him. I told him it was a nice lunch. I was the opposite of forthcoming. I then proceeded to argue later that day, here on FDL that I had to be honest, even though that very day, I hadn’t been. I can offer the excuse that a brief encounter is not a platform for substantive political/religious debate. A forty five minute lunch is certainly not enough time to fully engage and positively affect someone so ideologically distant. Still, I’m feeling a little hypocritical. I think this acquaintance’s world view is weird, but I kept my mouth shut. In order to understand one another, we need to be honest. The intolerant guy was honest, I think I understand him. I didn’t open up, he can’t possibly understand my positions. We fear what we don’t understand. I need to practice what I “preach.” Life is weird.